Be your own BEST FRIEND

Today I feel like talking about a subject that really concerns all of us.

Most of us spend their lives running around, chasing time. Time to sleep, time to work, time to play with your kids, time to go out with friends, time to work out, time to check your social media accounts, time to go shopping, time to spend time with your loved ones….. TIME, TIME, TIME. And at the end, you always feel you hadn’t enough time. And you get frustrated, a bit angry, and most of the time, you are just exhausted. But that’s obvious! You are running all the time!

So for all these reasons, I would like you to take a step back and think about it….. WHAT IF you stopped for a moment? WHAT IF, instead of overbooking your whole day, you didn’t book or plan anything AT ALL? Would that be scary for you? Would you be afraid, not knowing what to do and having the impression of losing this precious time?

Well that’s what I would like to talk about. This time that you would have FOR YOURSELF. You can start small: take 5 minutes, 10 minutes, NOT DOING ANYTHING. And if you are crazy, take a whole HOUR just for yourself!

Now you are thinking: WHAT?? What for?

It is HIGHLY IMPORTANT to connect with yourself. Stay away from Social Medias, YouTube, Whatsapp and other Internet gadgets….. Yes, silence allows you to talk to yourself. To catch up with your INNER SELF. And that’s where it gets…..trickier.

Many people are actually afraid of that. Sometimes because they feel isolated and being alone makes them sad. So they prefer to live in denial, making sure this never happens so that they don’t have to face their inner Truth. So they don’t stay there for long and quickly start getting busy with anything, even the most wasting time activities like passive brainwashing TV for example. This is quite typical and we have all been there already. But when you open up your mind and realize it all, you can start to see that actually, being alone can be quite empowering. Learning to be in peace with yourself is a learning process that we should all experience. The real questions will pop up and often, they are quite important ones: what is going on on the Inside? Are you happy? Are you in an uncomfortable space? Why? What are your heart and guts actually telling you?

This time that you spend FOR and WITH yourself is actually essential. For many reasons.

First of all, you need to take some time “off” just to decrease your overall stress levels (see my blog about it HERE). When you are under stress the whole time, whether it is physical stress due to chronic pain or injury, bad food, or mental/emotional stress, it is the same. It fatigues your body and at one point your body will start “losing” it. Your hormones get out of wrack, your immune system becomes weaker, you can not think clear anymore, you are just out of energy and need more and more stimulants and “quick fixes” to keep it up. It is the beginning of a downward spiral that, if not reversed, can end up quite badly. So take this time off. Just breathe. NO you don’t need to do anything besides BEING WITH YOURSELF. The most difficult is to start realizing it and being…ok with it.

Then, this time with yourself is critical in order to understand yourself better and improve your life. Literally. It is crucial to be able to stay with yourself and FEEL IN PEACE. At the beginning, you might see that you are hard on yourself: you are angry at yourself for this and this, you can not forgive yourself for something you have done, you don’t like the way you are, you don’t like your body, you don’t like what you see of yourself on a continual basis…. And all these thoughts are hard to deal with, so the temptation is often to check the phone, watch some TV or listen to some audio/podcast. But no, hang in there. Those thoughts are just clouds that pass in front of a sky that is always blue, no matter what. They will pass, it might not be a nice feeling, but eventually, they leave. This is when you have to let them go.

You can spend time with yourself meditating (see blog about it HERE): that’s when you will make the most out of this “me-time” and that’s a powerful way of digging out some conscious or unconscious internal struggles. You will start learning so much about you, that you will actually love yourself. And this is all that it is about. You don’t need to be a professional for that! Just decrease your breathing pace, doing slow deep belly breathing, and don’t try to clear off your minds of any thoughts: it won’t happen. Be ok with your thoughts, just take some distance and be a spectator of what is going on. Focusing on the breathing is a great way to start relaxing and being more in touch with yourself.

But meditating is not the only way to connect with yourself: just sitting in a park in nature, or laying down wherever, at home or in the grass, closing your eyes and just accepting and letting go of all the thoughts that you will have at that moment…. Whatever happens at that moment, just do it with yourself, in a pure loving way.

This me-time won't make you waste your time... It is actually the opposite. By taking this little time just to reflect on yourself and to take a step back of your daily agitation, you become more efficient. More productive. New ideas come to your mind, that you would never have if you hadn't taken that time "off". Yes, you heard it. Taking this time for yourself can actually make you win more time for the rest of the day / week /month.

This me-time will also allow you to understand so much: about what you should change in your life and how to change it. About who you are and how you can improve. About your relationships, your working environment. It is just your own time to reflect on yourself FOR YOURSELF. It is a time where YOUR BEST FRIEND IS YOU. You will be listening to yourself, and help yourself out. You will be loving and caring, and with time, you will actually go back there whenever you will be facing a stressful situation because actually, it is an incredible powerful and peaceful place to be in.

Make it the way you feel like doing it! Walking, listening to some music, meditating or reading….. Be connected to yourself, and love yourself no matter what.

You will realize that being able to leave in peace with yourself and nothing else around will make you much stronger in any other situation.

Your own well-being and happiness only DEPEND ON YOU, and only you. No one else can be responsible for that. You are the one who can make it happen for yourself. So why not take a deep breath and start being the best friend you will ever have?

Love can do miracles. Self-love can too. And no, this is not about being selfish. By learning to know and love yourself, you will be able to give much more love and quality time to anyone else.

So, are you ready to have some fun and amazing time with yourself?  

In Love and Happiness,