As some of you must know, I have been spending 3 weeks in Costa Rica, having an incredible experience here. A lot of self-reflection, a lot of beautiful meditation in Nature, a lot of connection with the energies around, and a lot of new deep connections with beautiful people that made me be and feel at my best. My experience here is in me forever, and I know it is just the beginning of a great journey for me.
One thing I wanted to share with you is something I have been talking about and realizing with some people that were there with me. It might look a bit too generalizing but I am just sharing here my personal experience during this wonderful personal development retreat I did here. So I am not saying that this is always the case, I am just trying to help people (especially women) who can resonate with it.
When in a group of people sharing personal things, it is often men who speak up, make everyone look at them and listen to them. We can see they LOVE being the centre of interest and it actually works well. They feel empowered, they are self-confident and are not embarrassed to show their own weaknesses. And even when they are not self-confident, they act as if they were. Because it looks manlier, and because it looks good and it is very attractive and inspiring actually.
Why are women so shy? Why don’t they speak up more when in public? Why is it that they are more self-aware of their looks and that this takes their power away?
I personally think that women should first stop judging themselves (or the other ones!) constantly. There is NOT ONE woman that I am coaching that doesn’t have any kind of negative self-talk to herself. Why is that? There are many reasons for it, like social pressure, the importance of physical beauty as one of the highest priority for women, or maybe they think they don’t have important things to say, or that they should let the other ones speak first and they come as a second priority….
So first of all, I would like to say to all women who are reading this: PLEASE STOP JUDGING YOURSELF: too fat, too big, too small, small boobs, flat bum, not fit, chubby, badly dressed, stupid, etc etc…. THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE and it is mostly a waste of precious energy and time. Imagine all the great things you could be doing or creating during that time beating yourself up! All those negative thoughts are unfounded. Society and Industrials make you think you are not good enough so that you buy all their products to make you feel better. This is only Marketing strategy and unfortunately, it is working way too well. Get over those judgements. Get over the will to be accepted by everyone. STOP COMPARING yourself to anyone else: you are UNIQUE! Just BE YOURSELF and LOVE YOURSELF NOW, exactly as you are. No one has the right to make you feel bad or diminish yourself. And when that happens, I must say that YOU are actually the one who is allowing that to happen. So the main point here is: LOVE YOURSELF SO MUCH that nothing or no one can make you doubt about yourself anymore. You might do some mistakes and learn from them, it doesn’t mean you are worthless and that you don’t deserve the best.
My other advice would be…. FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. If at the beginning you still feel very unsecure, act as if you were actually hyper-confident. Imagine you are this person you really look up to and act like this person would act. This can seem strange at the beginning, but it totally works! And the more you do it, the more your self-confidence actually grows and the less you will have to fake it. At one point this will all be in you.
STOP THINKING YOU ARE NOT A PRIORITY. Stop thinking that you are being a good person by putting the other ones first all the time. You can’t give love if you don’t have it in you. So no, it is not selfish to take care of this inner Love first. It is actually necessary to be even more powerful on the outside. Don’t hesitate anymore to do thing for your own best interest. Your life is YOURS, and no one’s else. You have the power to design it the way you want. You are strong enough to take your own decisions. If sometimes it is hard, or you are doubting, it doesn’t matter and it is actually quite normal. Just use it as a great way to move forward, to learn and grow. Don’t block yourself. Life is a constant change. So move, and DO MISTAKES! This is all ok.
SEIZE THE MOMENT. Be more present. Forget those thoughts or take some distance with them. By being more present, you will feel more comfortable and in peace. Everything happens in the NOW. It is not yesterday, nor tomorrow. LIFE is NOW. So live the now fully. Don’t overthink things.
GATHER TOGETHER. As women, we should empower each other, help each other when it is needed. Society is always trying to make us compete the one against the other to make us weaker. This doesn’t have to be that way. Be happy for the others’ successes. Celebrate the others’ happiness. What you give out comes back to you. And it feels GREAT to let our heart be more powerful than any negative, criticizing, judgemental thoughts. If we unite all together, our strength has no limit. And the love we create will impact many people around us. So build your tribe based on genuine true love.
EMPOWER YOURSELF. Understand that you have all it takes, and that everything is IN YOU already. We all have limited beliefs that block us and might be a real struggle, whether we are conscious of them or not. But by connecting more with your heart and your gut, you will feel the right path and you will manage to break those “rules” that do not apply to you. Be this free independent strong powerful woman you are, shine bright and don’t be afraid to put yourself first and to shine more than some other people! Believe in yourself. There is a good reason why you are on Earth right now. Make it a good one, make it a beautiful one, make it a LOVING one and SHINE BRIGHT.
Hope this helped some of you realize some self-limitations imposed by family or friends. It doesn’t have to be that way. Free yourself from all limiting beliefs and be that beautiful human being you are meant to be.
In Love and Happiness,